Happy Thoughts

Perverted... A word not normally considered to describe traits of a hetero-sexual male. But what about the hetero-sexual submissive male thoughts? Oh how do the tables turn, spin even.

Mistress has asked me to describe why I am able to accept being perverted. Besides admitting to being perverted, I have also admitted to being a slut and a whore. Thankfully, these thoughts exist within the confines of her bedroom. Regardless, Mistress has 'advised' me to post this blog entry.

Perverted, the word, defined

• adjective: (used of sexual behavior) showing or appealing to bizarre or deviant tastes
• adjective: marked by immorality; deviating from what is considered right or proper or good

I am quite sure the first definition is plausible to me. Finding a definition of bizarre and deviant might be needed. I assume that both definitions are a matter of judgement.

Slut, the word, defined

• noun: a dirty untidy woman
• noun: a woman adulterer

Damn... I totally missed on this one. I really wanted it! The femme in me, Kim needs to be a slut.

Whore, the word, defined

• noun: a woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money
• verb: corrupt by lewd intercourse
• verb: have unlawful sex with a whore

The second definition is quite likely but again, subject to the definition and judgement of lewd. The other two definitions definitely don't apply to me.

Mistress sat me down for a discussion regarding my acceptance of being perverted, a slut, a whore and many other submissive, degrading phrases that I have been called in the past year. I do find these quite degrading even though I regularly and openly admit to them under the direction and control of my Mistress. Being torn between the thoughts of disgust and desire was bothering me until Mistress said she was OK with my desires. As a result, I am feeling much more comfortable with my thoughts. Her confidence on the subject has put me at ease.

I like the word 'Kinky'

Kinky, is a synonym of perverted so now I am back to the definition and judgement issue again. Being kinky 24 hours a day sounds fun to me whereas being perverted 24 hours a day does not.

 I do have a favorite phrase for kinky... 'It is only kinky the first time'

I have always considered trying everything once and repeating the fun stuff as often as possible. Even before our FLR when I was vanilla and naive to the power of our D/s relationship. Last year, I certainly was never called a slut or a whore. Now I want and even need to be both.

My table has turned.

, Happy

Happy Halloween

I have always enjoyed Halloween. I love taking the opportunity to be someone or something else without judgement or concern. Quite simply, Halloween is a time to dress up anyway you want, no matter which gender, in any costume you like. Halloween is big on my list of favorite occasions and this year also marked our first full year in our D/s relationship.

Mistress played with me on and off throughout the weekend and into Monday night. The highlight for me was Sunday evening around 6pm when she told me I had 20 minutes to shower and feminize. Rushing to do as instructed, I returned to our bedroom closet to find clothing that Mistress had gathered and prepared for me, a schoolgirl outfit. I was excited to find a short skirt, polo shirt, bra, breast forms and knee highs waiting for me. I got dressed, brushed out my favorite wig and put on a set of hoop earrings in my now pierced ears. If it were not for the gaff holding Mistress's cock tightly between my legs, the bulge would have easily shown beneath the pleated skirt.

If the thrill of returning to Mistress dressed so femme wasn't enough, she instantly told me to get my keys. We were going for a drive. Wow, was I ever excited. Within a few minutes, I was driving us out of our neighborhood to order and take delivery at a popular drive-through hamburger joint. Mistress seemed to really enjoy watching me interact with the restaurant employees. I enjoyed myself as well, even more so knowing that she controlled the entire event.

Then last night, Halloween, was almost as entertaining as Sunday. As we do every year, Mistress and I surprised each other with costumes. She was quite appropriately, a Greek goddess. I was an angel, complete with wings and a halo. Together, we sat through a few minutes of discovery and giggling before getting rather kinky in the privacy of our bedroom.

If you have been following my blog then you should know that this time of year is also an anniversary for us. We confirmed our FLR one short year ago... and what a year it has been. So many new and wonderful things have happened to us this past year and the forecast for the upcoming year looks to be just as enjoyable.

I have learned so much about both myself and my wife this past year. I now submit to her entirely and without reservation. Mistress intimidates me because she desires do do so. I need her to do it.

I know that I am a kinder person, less controlling and more forgiving. More than ever, I consider my impact on others, especially Mistress, as I interact with them. I am certainly not perfect yet but I am willing to accept any and all training... Let's go !!

Happy and Owned

Mistress owns me and last night she demonstrated her power over me until I was completely exhausted. She dressed me in a devious outfit, including heels and stockings before she tied me to the beams in her bedroom. While on my knees with wrists bound tightly above, Mistress used various toys and tactics to suit herself. She spanked, whipped and shocked almost my entire body after covering my head with a rubber hood.

Mistress knows how to break me down. She has learned to use and abuse me without guilt. It has been almost a year now that our FLR became 'official'. For those of you following my blog, you know that our FLR has been a matter of discovery and growth. Lately, Mistress has been enjoying the devious side of being in control knowing that her submissive has asked to be owned.

She abused me well then untied me from above to lay me on my back. After making me admit to wanting to be humiliated, she demanded I open my mouth while she straddled my head to pee. The urine landed mostly on the rubber hood over my face but some of it certainly splashed into my mouth. Even though I couldn't see at the time, her appearance stood tall and proud over me, her toilet, as she relieved herself.

Happy Feminine Side

I can't say that I was surprised to find my shampoo and deodorant replaced with femme products this morning. Mistress had alluded to replacing my deodorant just last weekend. Piece by piece, bit by bit, I am looking and now smelling more and more feminine.

Last week, we had an interesting and exciting talk about my feminine tendencies. Where I am quite comfortable with being male, my submissive tendencies are slanting me towards losing male habits and converting to a kinder, gentler person. The external changes, pierced ears, painted toenails, shaved body and now smell have gone far to whittle down my male ego. Lately I have caught myself from saying negative comments and certainly have learned to notice reaction to letting one slip out. As my male ego depletes, Mistress's power and control over me is gaining momentum as well

My female name is 'Kim'. Mistress and I often refer to Kim in the third person. Kim is a slut for makeup, for wigs, for shoes, for clothes and most of all... for sex. Kim is a whore and loves to be abused by Mistress.

So far I am not quite comfortable with calling myself a 'crossdresser' but if a spade is a spade, then I must be a crossdresser. I love to wear brighter, softer and tighter apparel. Mistress and I have been discussing my desires and she seems interested on expanding my femme side to the public. Recently, Mistress mentioned taking a week vacation with Kim, The feelings of joy, excitement and fear combine when I think of the possibilities of being Kim, even if just for a week. Most of all, I relish the enthusiastic tact that Mistress has taking regarding my 'fetish'.

, Submissive Male, aka Kim

Happy with Mistress

To start with, this post is sort of like 'calling the kettle black' as I have not posted an entry to my blog in quite some time. Being relatively new to this blog site I can only imagine that many blogs start agressively to taper off over time. My actions are certainly evidence of such a pattern.


MsMarie, we miss you. Your blog has been quite the inspiration for Mistress and I. Your lack of blog posts has not gone unnoticed. Mistress and I have reluctantly had to venture elsewhere to both entertain ourselves and seek influencial direction.


Having said this, my Mistress has evolved into a research wizard and become enlightened with a broader range of D/s information. Her latest habits are having a definate impact on our relationship. She has turned into a powerful woman who enjoys using me to demonstrate her newfound knowledge.

As it is my preference, I feel owned by Mistress. Her thoughtful patterns of domination have improved her ability to use me on a regular basis now. She has most definately blossomed into a goddess of intent and set goals to acheive her own desires without simply providing for mine.

She is now most comfortable with her ability to control me without inhibition. This particular issue had been a frustratingly hurtfull condition just a few short months ago. Since this hurtle has been overcome, we are more able to enjoy our D/s relationship wthout damaging side effects.

On a personal level, events have enlightened  me to understand my desires. I am much more aware of the advantages of being forced to partake in affairs that I naturally wish to do. Chastity for one, is no longer an intense turn-on for me and thus gives Mistress the positive power to use it to her benefit. The ease at which Mistress is now able to command respect is a huge advantage for her and having instruments available for her sole benefit is quite powerful.

Forced feminization, while still progressing, is also becoming quite a tool for Mistress. She increasely enjoys the ability to entertain herself and dominate me as her submissive. She now regularly desides on my appearance and dress. She enjoys researching and acquiring new garments to subject me to. What was once an occasional 'beautification' has now become a continual event. Not only does she control my clothing, she monitors and corrects my cleanliness and natural virility. I have always enjoyed my mental ability to partake in feminization but being forced to do so on Mistress's schedule is a most gratifying scenario for me.

Mistress enjoys having a cock in her pussy. She also rather enjoys giving blowjobs. This does however pose a problem for us as my natural ability to maintain constantly high labido levels are regularly compromised following my orgasms. Far to often, for us both, my orgasm concludes our encounters and rarely occurs timely enough to satisfy the both of us. We are working on solving this delema. The main reason I am writing this blog entry today is due to last night's wonderful encounter on this particular subject.


Here's what transpired:

Leading up to last night, Mistress and I had been reading stories on Literotica. We have been enjoying finding fictional stories and making them a real part of our life. We certainly have a few favorites that we have shared and these include the subjects of training, domination and humilation.

Last night's success started early this past week on evening after I returned from work. Mistress Skype'd demanding me to install the CB and insert a butt plug. This request although is not uncommon was so this time as it occured much earlier than I had expected. I did as I was told and immediately performed the task. Later that night, Mistress sent me to the shower, dressed me for a sexual encounter and the proceeded to fuck me quite agressively with one of her larger black strapon dildos.

A couple of mornings later, I was intercepted on my way out the door as I left for work. I soon found out that my nipples would be subjected to a rather intensive all-day 'grooming'. This assult consisted of two pieces of sandpaper adhered inside my shirt. If I tried to explain what this attack did to me I wouldn't be doing it justice. Do it yourself if you really need to know.

Yesterday afternoon Mistress and I discussed our goals and frustrations of having cock in her pussy. This put the wheels in motion.

Later in the evening I was sent to the shower and followed by feminizing myself from head to toe with a wig, makeup, breast forms, bra, new dress, tight panties, thigh highs and my favorite Mary Jane heels. During the day I shopped for matching accessories of necklace, wrist watch and handheld purse, all in pink to match the pink in my new sundress that I was now wearing for the first time.

I Skype'd Mistress in the front room to announce my readiness. Following her completing a chapter of a Literotica story she came into our bedroom to see her pretty submissive. I was all a glow showing myself to her with what I felt to be my best attempt at feminizing to date. She seemed to be quite pleased with my results as well. Mistress acquired a few garments for herself and rushed into the shower to prepare for what certainly would be a night to remember.

She returned to me with a cup of water and a Viagra. This was immediately followed with a application of 'delay cream' and a natural non-latex condum on her cock that I wield and maintain for her. Rather than compromise my new sundress, Mistress had thoughtfully set out a very sexy nightgown for me to change into and I did so.

Now, if Mistress were telling this story, she would likely spend more time explaining what happened next.

Both the Viagra and the cream were taking effect and I was both physically and mentally ready to use them. Based on statements that Mistress had been making, she was attempting to control the encounter that would involve installing her strapon and fucking her pretty submissive slut of a husband. I was quite pleased that she didn't become angry or aggressive due to my failure to comply to her unsuccessful attempt to have me assist her. I blaintly disregarded her request for my chosing and acguiring of a dildo to mount.

Instead, I pulled down the covers on the bed. Thankfully, she took the clue and lied down. I removed my Mary Janes and joined her on the bed.

It only took a few minutes of my oral assault on her cunt for her to show interest in the condition of her cock. I knew it was quite rigid and ready but I was enjoying myself between her legs while I messed up my lip gloss and negotiated my long hair. I gave myself a few more minutes of what I thought was a personal thrill before I lifted my gown and positioned the hem of the tight panties below my crotch.

I mounted Mistress. She orgasmed in a very short time. Much to my delight, her cunt sprayed and gushed providing me with a favorite condition of mine, being wet and smelling like pussy. I continued to fuck her without hesitation or concern for my own unwanted sexual release. Her sexual gratification was all that I wanted.

I helped her turn over onto hands and knees allowing me to reenter her from behind. Her wave after wave of orgasms continued to provide me with the gush of fluids that I remained to enjoy.

Mistress suggested that we move her to the edge of the bed while I stood beside. This turned out to be a excellent approach and angle into her cunt. I easily swayed and pounded into her while grasping her hips for support and control. Our cock was in prime form as it reframed from eruption as it pounded into her pussy as it gushed and sprayed over what not included my entire legs, feet and onto the floor.

Time was irrelevent as I continued to fuck Mistress. At one point, I let my gaze defer from her backside to notice the clock on the dresser displaying 2:34. At that point I had been fucking her in a constant wave of orgasms for over two hours.

Certain that Mistress was satisfied and that my goal had been reached, the condum was removed. I mounted her in the missionary position as she played with my thoughtfully prepared nipples behind my breast forms. The locks of my long hair brushed her face as unloaded my cum into her swollen cunt.

In the end, Mistress glowed almost as bright as I had during my time of feminization a few hours before.

We removed and replaced the soiled sheets on the bed and settled in for a blistfull sleep. I woke this morning just after 10am next to Mistress with another hardon. She rolled onto her back as I positioned myself to penetrate her and play with her clit. Over the next half hour or so, I was able to get her to orgasm many times. I sure love how accommodating her cunt gets after a night of hard fucking.

I absolutely want to repeat this event tonight... Wish me luck even though good fortune is on my side.

, Happy

Happy to reply in my defense

My latest post may be and has actually been considered a 'one-sided' perspective from a submissive who was told to post his feelings regarding a FLR contract. As instructed, I wrote about my feelings such as they are.

Soon after posting my feelings and thoughts regarding our new contract, a follower named Tamara posted her comment. At first read of Tamara's comment I got rather defensive and thankfully didn't immediately defend my position. You might say my submissive side took control and I referred to my Mistress for guidance. My Mistress chose to post a rebuttal that clarified my one-sided statements.

Reading Tamara's bio will tell you that she is a 'vanilla wife' to a 'submissive husband'. After thinking about her situation and her apprehension to work on a FLR, per posted comment, I wonder whether she is missing the point or rewards of being a Mistress. If so, she is not alone as her view of a FLR being 'work' for the female is well documented in articles and blogs throughout the Internet.


In the case of a husband and wife, both must benefit from the effort of maintaining the relationship. Since I have been married for 20 plus years, I know from experience that even a vanilla relationship takes effort.


Why do this? How do I benefit? How does she benefit? What effort takes place? Tough questions to answer and not unlike a vanilla relationship, the benefit of a FLR must outweigh the effort. Another similarity is that you will likely benefit only by the amount of effort you put into your relationship.


But I digress... Back to the point. What is in it for my Mistress?


My Mistress does benefit from our FLR. First and foremost she gains by receiving additional respect and dedication from me, her submissive partner. As a submissive I no longer have the ability to flex my male ego and thus continuously and consistently devote myself to her.  Even if I do stray from a preferred behaviour, it is entirely her right to ignore or correct me.


Why dominate me?


At first my Mistress couldn't understand why she should desire to dominate me. From my point of view, in many ways, she has been making most of the decisions anyway. For example, very little if any of the details of our wedding were decided by me. Mother Nature not I could change her timing for raising a family. I am a foremost a provider and to a lesser extent, a resolver. Now with the FLR, I can reverently relinquishment my authority that most often caused friction in our vanilla relationship. Without this potential to clash with my spouse, I am much more free to express myself.


BDSM is in the bedroom. FLR is everywhere


Male sexual relief impairs his ability to continuously commit to his partner. I know from experience that after an orgasm a man loses willpower. Since I am not a doctor or a chemist, I cannot explain the reason for the degrade in dedication. Regardless, it happens and I can't seem to avoid it when it does. Unlike BDSM, the dynamics of the FLR restrict the sexual release of the submissive without having to avoid physical contact. In fact, a most enlightening dynamic of the FLR is that physical contact is expected to increase. Without male orgasm release, the willingness of the submissive to pleasure his Mistress becomes consistent. With regular tease and denial techniques administered to the submissive male, his sexual, physical and emotion energy grows to benefit the Mistress. So much so, that her enjoyment and sexual needs are his primary goal as he becomes complacent and resistant to his own release.


Women can lead


From a very young age, we are taught that males lead females. The most obvious event of the learning process happens when we dance and date. Boys ask girls out on dates or offer to dance. How many marriage engagements are started by the woman? I certainly haven't heard of any.

Growing up as a compliant male does occur eventually and until his life gets beyond the need for masculine stereotypes, his behavior is more manufactured than it is natural. If the submissive male is able to find a woman who is willing and able to pursue the dominate role, he will have found a match for life and a FLR is born.


Defense rests... For now

Happy to be back and under contract

I am under contract. Mistress and I both signed a D/s contract that outlines our FLR. Signing the contract requires us to submit entirely to my wife, now Mistress, dominating me, her submissive, for a period of one month.

Mistress owns the contract as well as me. Upon my agreement, I gave myself entirely to her and now she controls me, uses me and trains me. I am now her slave, her toy, her patsy, her fool. My body is hers to maintain, shave, cleanse and dress. My goal is to fulfill her desires and satisfy her needs.

Mistress also committed to our FLR when she signed the contract. She is now dedicated to taking care of me, her submissive male. Her promise is to control, train, direct and care for her slave, to do so purely for her own emotional and physical benefit. She expects to use harsh punishment, degrading humiliation and selfish tactics to gain dominance and respect.

Our contract has been effective for just over a week now. I have grown more each day, increasing my devotion to my Mistress as she explores new ways to control and train me. Her dominance starts early each morning with her use of urination and feminizing before sending me off to work. Going to work allows my body to recover from the physical abuse that is forced upon me on most nights. I am whipped, bound, gagged, pinched and penetrated. No part of my body is off limits as Mistress own it entirely.

I am cared for, have purpose and have an elevated desire to please. I am fairly certain my Mistress is enjoying my magnified willingness to surrender as she is increasingly exploring new ways to dominate and control me. I really am happy now and expect to be throughout the month.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

I hope you enjoy your day as much as Mistress and I have done. Here's a image of the celebration outfit that Mistress put on me. She strapped me to the front door and dressed me. It is hard to tell in this picture but my tie was lighted with flashing bulbs.

In case you have been following my blog... Yes, our D/s week has been extended for an additional week after the mutual decision was made late last week. As of now, we are scheduled to return to a vanilla relationship on Sunday.

Happy week in review

Here's a list of the D/s events that happened to me this week:

• Strap-on sex
• Horsewhipped
• Golden showers
• Gagged
• 24/7 Chastity
• Cunt worship
• Pet caged
• Tampon wear
• Blindfolded
• Spanked
• Foot worship
• Handcuffed
• Paddled
• Sucked dildo
• Butt plugged
• Feminized
• Ate, doggy style
• Gave massage
• Swallowed cum
• Gave pedicure
• Asshole worship
• Nipple torture
• Ass fisted
• Electro-sex
• Ate creampie

I thoroughly enjoyed Her attention and dedication to dominating me this week. Comparably, my occasional pleasing and pleasuring of Mistress was overshadowed by Her desire to regularly abuse me.

What a week !!!

Happy bride

My wife, the groom, and I have renewed our FLR vows. We both agreed to a prenuptial that consists of a one week a month D/s schedule. Today is day 4 of our return to FLR week for this month.

Even though I wasn't actually a virgin, I wore white.

We consummated our marriage with Her, again my Mistress, giving me a thorough thrashing with Her horsewhip. There is somewhat of a dispute regarding how many of my bruises were caused by Her release on my backside. Her position on the matter is that some of them were caused by the yard work that I performed last weekend. Regardless, She certainly left Her mark on me.

For the most part, our return to FLR has gone quite favorably for the both of us. I have been focused on letting Her control our D/s events and She has been much more aggressive at doing so.

We seem to be going through a reversal of wills whereas I have resolved myself to the understanding that we will return to vanilla after week's end. She on the other hand has taken a stance that we will not be returning to vanilla sex and refrain from doing so until we again return to a FLR.

I have more blogging to do once I get my thoughts organized enough to do so. But for now, as you can see, we are back and I must say, better than ever!

Thanks for the heartfelt thoughts and concerns on both of our blogs. The support is greatly appreciated !!!

Happy or not, here I am

It has been a week since I returned to a vanilla lifestyle. I have to say, in many ways it is easier than FLR. Maybe not as fulfilling but certainly less effort for me. My showers are much shorter and occur only once a day. Urinating is much quicker now that I can stand while peeing. I don't spend time installing the CB twice a day. Choosing undergarments and putting them on takes only a few seconds. I have forgotten how under wires feel towards the end of each day. My cock and balls hang free, pressure and discomfort is non-existent. I sleep through early mornings without the discomfort of the repeated nacturnal hard-ons while wearing the CB device.

There has not been any sex, in any form, this past week.

My wife and I have not come to any agreement regarding our relationship. When she does talk to me about the subject, she says she wants to return to a FLR. My response is that I will not return without receiving some form of commitment. I need to know the amount of focus and attention she is willing to dedicate to such a lifestyle. I will not allow myself to return to the frustrated 'wait and see' environment that I was in before. Any attempt by me to acquire some form of commitment from her this week has failed and heated arguments have occurred as a result. Trying to make my point has been repeatedly thrown back in my face and I have succumb to silence regarding the issue.

Living a vanilla lifestyle is far less discouraging and doing away with physical contact takes less effort. Even so, if it were not for the 'on my own' feelings causing frustration that I had in our FLR, I'd be willingly submissive again tomorrow.

Happy vanilla male

It was certainly fun, exciting and fulfilling to live in a D/s relationship but for me it has become an emotional drain. So much so, that I am now unable to commit myself as a submissive male.

Events have confirmed to me that my wife is not willing to commit herself to a FLR. Over the past few months she has been quite vocal regarding her willingness to contribute to a lifestyle that I chose in the first place.

I have been rightfully accused of topping and promoting events that she, as a FemDom, would have initiated. Doing so minimized her power to lead and frustrated us both. Learning from my mistakes, I have waited for her to lead. My prior blog posts reflects this action. This past extended weeked was quite uneventful and other than controlling the CB myself, we were vanilla.

This morning as I prepared myself to go back to work, I stopped shaving my body and removed the toenail polish. I stored the CB-6000 in it's original case and dressed as normal as possible for a vanilla male going to work.

So the question arises... Do couples switch back and forth from D/s and vanilla? If so, what triggers the switch? At least in my case, switching back to D/s will require commitment from my wife without me applying any amount of pressure. I now understand why there are contracts and deadlines regarding these relationships. I doubt she will be willing to draw up a contract and sign it, even if we work on it together. At this point nothing would surprise me and I certainly am not in the position to promote such a change.

It's been an enlighting journey in more ways than one. Mainly I have learned that I cannot second guess what my wife will endure. She's a strong minded woman but maybe not as dominate as I had hoped.

Happy to wait

Mistress seems to be in a holding pattern lately. Never the less, I have learned to wait for her next instruction as I have rightfully been accused of 'topping from the bottom' in the past few months. At this point, She may or may not have something dominating planned. Regardless, I certainly am not in the position to pull any strings or take the first shot.

Mistress and I have been living together but on very different schedules. My eight to five job requires me to sleep during the night. She however, does not work fulltime and has almost an opposite schedule, sleeping between the wee hours of the morning until about noon the next day.

Even though there hasn't been any outward signs of our D/s relationship, I have still been regularly locked in the CB device. During the celebrations last week, including Valentine's Day, I was allowed to orgasm on multiple occasions. Now, without attraction to or interaction from Mistress, my current libido level is quite managable.

Happy to smile

Better than a Flu Shot!

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea... As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl Sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated. of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?

Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.

The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know, I haven't had the flu all winter.

Happy ever after Valentine's Day

Last night was quite fulfilling for me and I am confident that Mistress also enjoyed our first D/s Valentine's Day. We endlessly pleased and pleasured each other until the wee hours of the morning. Waking up this morning was difficult but the encounter was worth every minute of lost sleep.

Our encounter started with my gift to Her. I gave her a new outfit of a corseted top, thigh-high nylons and elbow length gloves. All in bright red to match the occasion.

Following Her shower She applied Her makeup that included red hot lipstick. She put on the new top and a delectable pair of black lace panties.

I wonder... Why is it a pair? Why is it panties? It's only one item, right?

I had placed a kitchen chair and my punishment stool in our bathroom. I filled her glass of red wine as She made Herself comfortable upon Her 'throne'. Sitting on the stool in a bright red knee length nightgown, I proceeded to give Her a much needed pedicure painting her toes red to match my own. After applying two coats of nail polish, I retrieved Her hand lotion to give her a foot to knee massage. The worship continued as I installed Her new nylons, gloves and black leather boots. She looked delicious and my erection showed my admiration.

We returned to our bedrooom prepared as our playground.

I am happy to report that the new bondage horse held up quite well during last night's intense ride. After mounting me naked, Mistress slapped my ass with Her new heart shaped Valentine's paddle as Her gift to me. With my ass warmed and willing, She rode me like a yearling stallion fucking a mare in heat wearing Her strap-on harness and dildo.

While I remained limp and victimized bound to the horse, Mistress obtained our digital camera to 'document Her success'. If you are interested in the picture, visit Her blog.

I was released from my restraints and lead to the shower on my hands and knees where She stood above and urinated on me. This dominate act instantlly affected me while I waited for Her to clean up before leaving me to do the same. Pissing on me is a new treatment for Her to administer and we both are enjoying the outcome.

I returned to our bedroom to find Her relaxing in wait upon the bed. She lay on Her back with knees elevated while I pleasured Her with my face and hands on Her cunt. My erection soon swelled and I was allowed to insert it into Her pussy. It only took a few moments before She came and sprayed my cock and balls. Permission was granted for me to orgasm and I came deep inside of Her.

Yet again, I neglected to fulfill my promise to clean Her creampie and She was left to deal with the mess herself. I am disappointed with my irresponsible behavior. I had hoped to routinely perform this obligation but it appears that I still need training and timely encouragement.

Satisified and exhausted we fell asleep.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day

To all you Femdoms...

Today more than ever, I hope you dominate your submissive sissy slut. Get pampered, treated with a pedicure, massaged and be licked. Master your domain, top the bottom, piss on him, bite his nipples, tie up your slave and fuck his 'pussy' asshole. Most important of all, I wish for you to cum over and over again because this is what you deserve.

To all you Submissives...

Today, I hope your training pays off and you willfully please your Mistress. Pamper Her with a massage. Worship Her feet, breasts, ass and most of all, Her cunt. Drink Her urine and lick Her clean. I want your nipples to bleed, your asshole to throb and balls to turn blue. I want Her to cum and squirt on your face. I hope you get these things because this is what you deserve.

Happy to ride

Last week Mistress sent me a message containing a link to a device for sale on eBay. It was called a 'bondage horse'. She wanted one and suggested that I make Her one as a present for Valentines Day. Now let me make myself candidly clear, I would have made it for Her regardless of reason. This device directly targets the needs of a submissive and provides complete control to the Dominant.


Ours stands just over two feet high and over three feet long. The padding on top is thick , comfortable and cleanable. The hold-downs are very strong and abundant. Its structure is 2x4s and attachments rated at 300lbs. Areas of contact are covered with Naugahyde vinyl and collaspes within a few seconds. The legs are paired and connected with the use of saw-horse hinges.

Don't you think it came together well? Do you want one? It can be made in any combination of length and height. A variety of colors are also available. Are you needy enough to acquire one of you own? Are you a handyman? If not, let's talk.

Happy clenched backside

Sometime this morning Mistress tried in vain to wake me from a sound sleep. I don't know what time is was but I am sure it was very early. I sort of remember Her sucking on my nipples and cock and assume she was trying to get our cock aroused. She wasn't able to get the response She wanted and retired Herself to slumber on Her side of our bed. She must have been tired as well since She didn't engage in a domineering approach to arouse me.

Without wearing the chastity device, my sustained sleep ended when the alarm rang. The ability to rest comfortably throughout the night doesn't seem possible wearing the CB and this morning was a rare occasion. Following my shower I was ordered to 'lock it up' and the device was reinstalled.

As usual, Mistress packed my lunch and sent me to work. The remaining part of my morning was typical and uneventful. I ate lunch and sent a text message to Mistress checking on Her day. Her response implied that She was still thinking about Her inability to get satisfied during the night. I took full blame and asked if I would be punished. Surprised by Her response, She instructed me to find a tampon in the external pouch of my lunchbox, take it to the bathroom and insert it into my ass. I did as instructed and returned to my desk with the retrieval cord dangling between the cheeks of my butt.

I sent another message acknowledging that I had followed Her demand and asked if She would arrive to inspect. Instead Her response was to have me prove my compliance by sending Her a picture message with my cell phone. I did so and here's the image that I had sent.

My afternoon continued at work as my rectum uncomfortably retained the tampon while I continuously clenched to control it. I returned home on schedule and decided to post this entry while still aware of its presence as I contract my sphincter. It has been over seven hours since the tampon was inserted and I am starting to question my ability to hold it much longer.

It has been a long day.

Happy Modeling Images

As promised, here is a few more modeling images that Mistress acquired yesterday evening during our modeling session...

Happy Top Model

Inspired by the TV show America's Top Model, Mistress organized a photo shoot this evening. Here's one of the images acquired during our three hour session. Once I get a chance to review and crop some of the remaining stills, I hope there will be a few more worthy of posting to my blog.

I am so happy to have fun entertaining Mistress today. She had a busy week and didn't dominate me very much. Our session today was a bright spot in an otherwise vanilla week.

We are now three months into our D/s relationship and continue to be uncomfortable with our roles. My patience runs out and frustration sets in when I don't receive the attention that I am craving. This results in me topping from the bottom and breaking out of my submissive role. The presure to perform frustrates Mistress as well which keeps her from comfortably dominating. She keeps reminding me that this lifestyle was my idea as I approached Her last October. She admittedly wants to continue and likes benefitting from a dominating position but is still uncomfortable taking control frequently enough to keep me submissive. Mistress thinks that I should be able to remain submissive because I want to be but it's obvious to me that I am unable to sustain it without Her intervention.

Happy TGIF

Another week has past in my illustrious career, well, almost anyway. Tomorrow is Friday and around my office it's considered an unofficial 'dress down day'. Unbeknownst to my coworkers, I regularly 'dress up' under my casual outerwear. For years now, I have worn many different combinations of female undergarments. Panties, bras, garters, slips and nylons have been some of the attire I've secretly don. On occasion, I have even worn lingerie to work.

I regularly ask Mistress to contribute. It is even more fun and exciting for me when She decides or is aware of my attire. I have to say though that since we have engaged in our D/s lifestyle, I am wearing panties and bras regularly which makes Friday's choices more spunky than ever. I don't yet know what tomorrow will bring but I am confident that it will not be masculine or boring.

For me, this is the best part of being submissive. Wait... I take that back... Eating pussy while it squirts is first on my list, 'Dress up day' is a distant second.

Happy house cleaning

This morning I wore my maid outfit to clean the house while my Mistress slept in. I was able to vacuum the entire house and scrub all of the floors before she woke up.

I will keep this post brief because a picture is worth a thousand words and here are two of them.

Welcome Happy Mistress

Please help me welcome my Mistress Wife to our blog site. I hope She will enjoy the experience here as much as I.

Happy to be back

For me it has been a long week but now it's over and I am back to what I want to do, be a submissive husband to my Mistress Wife. She also was busy last week and therefore minimally dedicated time to our D/s relationship. As a result, tensions mounted and climaxed on Friday morning. Rather than delve into details let's just say that Her wishes of me weren't received and I chose a wrong path or two. We worked through some of our differences throughout the day on Friday before ending with a hot and exciting session.

Hot Wax Art

My Mistress and I enjoyed Her creativity when She bound me spread on the bed and plugged my ass, then followed up by tying my cock and balls to the foot board. I was left this way to wait while She showered and prepared Herself. Upon Her return, She lit a red taper candle and proceeded to drip hot wax from my chest to my knees. Proud of Her accomplishment, She took a few pictures to document the achievement.

After that She removed the butt plug, strapped on a dildo and fucked me as hard and as long as ever before.

Denial Return Failure

I have got to resolve or cure my heartburn as it has become a reason for personal failures. It is limiting my abilities to sustain many positions. My Mistress also allowed me to skip promised cleanup of the creampie I created that ended my three week orgasm denial. Thinking about it now, I'm at the opinion that She should not have allowed me to avoid my obligation and training simply because I wasn't feeling up to it. To Her credit, She wasn't focusing on Her domination skills while glowing from the series of orgasms She had just endured.

Golden Showers

Ms.Marie and sissy have sparked interest amongst their followers, myself included. My Wife has twice been able to urinate on me. Both times resulted in powerful D/s response. I am finding that posts and comments regarding domination through urination to be increasingly entertaining for me. I hope to hear more stories on the subject and maybe even post results of my own experiences that I now wish to endure.

I looking at this as a three step process:

1. Urinate to dominate
2. Licking Her clean
3. Swallowing 'nectar'

Can you add to this list?

Happy to dream

MLK did not include these phrases in his famous speech:


I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every submissive shall be exalted, every penis and ass-hole shall be made sore, the rough places will be made tender, and the reddened places will be made swollen, and the power of the Woman shall be revealed, and all flesh shall heal in time.

This will be the day when all submissive slaves will be able to serve with new vigor, "My chastity, 'tis of thee, deprived of liberty, of thee I sing. Serve where my Mistress wants, serve of the FemDom's haunts, from every Woman's feet, let begging ring."

I have a dream.

Happy to keep Her feet warm

My Mistress enjoys Her king-size bed and I am happy to be allowed to sleep on it with Her. Our position side-by-side does however imply that we are equal during our slumber. Last week, I came up with an idea to promote Her supremacy during the night. My idea was to position me below lying across the foot of her bed and not be included under Her bedding. I delivered my idea and She was immediately interested, even before I pointed out that this arrangement would also help warm Her feet.

That night, I was wearing a favorite night-gown as I laid at the foot of the bed. My Mistress attached wrist and ankle restraints to bind me to the foot board before covering me with a blanket. I quickly fell asleep to wake the next morning to find at least one of our cats huddled beside me.

I believe my Mistress has enjoyed this new arrangement. I certainly appreciate the power it provides Her as a final doministic act to finish the day. I also wake thinking thoughts of being pleasantly owned. All in all, this new arrangement is a Win-Win situation that I can recommend.

What's next? A pet cage?

Happy bunco night

My Mistress Wife plays a dice game once a month with a group of twelve women. Before She left me yesterday evening She assigned me a set of tasks to perform and prepare for Her return.

Here's the quick notes I took to help me remember:

• sheets in dryer, settting 80
• white load washer cotton/hot soap bleach
• make bed
• wait for key location/text
• thigh-high heels 4-cuffs collar suspend over beam
• 4-ties on corners of bed
• harness/cock
• wine
• candles
• music
• viagra

She returned after 3-4 hours just as I finished my preparation. As requested, I was standing naked with hands suspended from ceiling beam while wearing a dog collar, thigh-high stockings and a pair of 4 inch high heels. I pretty sure She liked what She saw, it was Her choice.

Next month, Bunco is hosted at our house and I wonder what Her plans will be. I'd love to know that there are other FemDoms in the group. It sure would be fun to serve.

Happy and owned

I am really enjoying our D/s lifestyle now. My Mistress Wife has willingly taken control of me and enjoys the power She wields. Now that She owns me emotionally, I am starting to consider a physical 'branding' with a tattoo, piercing or both.

I am an empty canvas... Any ideas?

Happy and pink

My Mistress has decided to step it up a notch. As you can see She has determined that my backside was in need of a beating. Other than wanting to be dominated and humiliated by Her, I don't think I did anything to promote or deserve this attention. However, I am absolutely sure that She enjoyed doing this almost as much as I enjoyed Her attention. 

Happy to be woke up

My Mistress Wife likes to play in the middle of the night. Last night was a perfect example of this when She woke me around three o'clock. She immediately ordered me to retrieve our snake bite suction cups. I fulfilled Her request and returned to Her side knowing that She would apply them to my nipples.

For those of you unfamiliar with how these suction cups work I will try to explain them. They are rubber, shaped like a small cup with about a 3/4 inch opening and about an inch deep. To install them you simply squeeze to collapse, place the opening on the spot to be sucked and release. Her favorite spot to attach these suckers is on each of my nipples. Within seconds after they are attached to my chest, my cock will respond into a full fledged hard-on.

If you have been following my blog you may know that I am a 24/7 chastity device wearer. I wear a popular CB-6000 that, like many devices, installs over the penis and held in place with a ring around the balls. From my research, it is my understanding that it is one of the more comfortable devices to wear. This may be true but when you get a hard-on while wearing one of these it becomes a sadistic torturous cage. The base of your cock expands and the entire cage including your balls is pushed from your pelvis as far as your anatomy will allow. You will find out real quickly that you will want to be shaved and lubricated when this occurs.

So there I was, wiggling around on the bed, dressed in a soft nightgown, nipples sucked and cock tortured contained in the CB. My Mistress had me exactly where She likes me. I admit, I like it too. She laid on Her chest while I massaged Her back, butt, legs and feet. Then She rolled onto Her back when I licked, sucked and fingered Her to orgasm.

We are on day five of a five week orgasm denial schedule so the CB was not to be removed. I begged for release anyway knowing that I would be denied. Instead I was ordered to retrieve and install Her newest strap-on harness and over sized dildo. After that She fucked my ass hard while I laid on my back, face down on the bed and watched from below as I sat from above.

I had been milked and my nightgown was soiled. After I cleaned myself and our toys, we both went to sleep.



I overslept this morning and my Wife was already in the process of making the lunches when I asked to be unlocked for my shower. She wears the key to the CB on Her neck which She used to open the small metal lock before I headed for the bathroom shower. To keep the metal lock from rusting, I replaced it with a temporary plastic variety. The plastic version however is not a lock. It's purpose is to keep the CB assembled during cleaning.

My Wife was in the bathroom preparing to leave for school carpool when I exited the shower. I toweled and put on my rob as She headed out of the door. Now, if you have been keeping up with the scene, you might also recognize that I am at this point able to make my own choice regarding my chastity. She left me alone in the house, UNLOCKED !!!!


Come back again as I will post the outcome. To make things more interesting, leave a comment to explain what you would have done. We might even get lucky and have a Mistress explain our punishment or reward.

Happy planet - not lately

Some days the planet seems to be off it's axis. It still spins but it wobbles and jerks.

Something I said last night tilted my world. Most disturbing is that I didn't even know it at the time. To me, my words seemed simple and innocent. But to my Mistress Wife, the phrase "Don't worry about it" was received as an attack on Her judgement. OK, I do admit it and hindsight being 20/20, I failed and should have known better. Ironically, the phrase was a response given regarding the content of this blog. I should be punished and taught some manners.

In my defense... Ya, I know, this part doesn't matter so I'll try to keep it brief. So far, my week has not been stress free. For some reason going back to work has been hard this year. To make matters worse, my co-workers bailed leaving me to cover. Although it is almost done, packing up and storing away the holiday decorations is never a 'happy time'.

Past experience has shown that over time this planet with stabilize and recover. I only wish it would do so sooner. Why can't I simply be punished, taught the lesson and then pardoned? This is how She raised Her children. Am I too old to be scolded, spanked and put in time-out? Does it makes sense to use 'cold-shoulder' and abstinence techniques to promote punishment as done in a vanilla relationship? There must be a way to take advantage of these Dominate/submissive roles. Most importantly by getting the point across, releasing aggressions, learning the lesson and moving on to enjoy life.

On a positive note... I have been doing well on my resolutions. I'm not 100% and I knew up front that the 'Strength and Endurance' resolution would be the hardest to obtain but the other promises have been upheld. I'm happy to say that I'm not craving cigarettes, I'm horny as ever, my cock is in lock-down and She owns my body.

Happy to make resolutions

My Wife has suggested that I post a few 2011 resolutions here on my blog. Actually, I wasn't sure whether a submissive should be allowed to make such decisions on his own. It does however seem reasonable for me to commit to improving myself and our relationship. For these reasons I have posted these resolutions to be acheived in the year of 2011.


Strength and Endurance

Since I already own a gym membership, I have the resources available to me to improve my strength and endurance with a regular exercise schedule. This could be fairly easy to achieve if my Mistress controls my workout routine and attire. This will also increase Her power over me, which I desire.

Nicotine Free

I will not allow any tobacco products in my body, no cigarettes, no patches and no gum. Since becoming a submissive I have already committed to living tobacco free. In fact, this issue was a major reason for living this lifestyle from my Wife's point of view. Starting in 2011, I will not allow myself to stray.

Orgasm Denial

I am committed to pleasuring my Mistress and remaining interested in Her at all times. It is already known that my climax diminishes my interest and arousal toward Her. Therefore I will not orgasm without permission. As a deterrent to the reduced desire and diminished arousal, I will always clean up after myself. If I cum in Her vagina, I will eat Her creampie. If not, I will consume my discharge from any surface, orifice or container, even if a condom is worn during the event. I will do so until She decides when I am finished.

24/7 Chastity Device

I will remain locked in the CB at all times. Only for hygiene reasons will I be temporarily unlocked for cleaning. Only my keyholder Mistress will be allowed to unlock the device and it will never be removed without Her permission.

Personal Hygiene

My body is owned by my Mistress Wife and therefore will be maintained to a level of cleanliness She desires. At a minimum, I will bathe twice daily, apply deodurant, brush teeth and use cologne. All hair will be removed from my entire body except for my scalp, eye brows, arms and a trimmed patch above the penis. At no time will hair be allowed on my chest, balls, ass, legs and armpits.

These resolutions I submit and commit to promote a better life in 2011.

Happy New Year

Well now, 2011 is here and promises to be my first full year as a submissive male in a female lead marriage.

Last night at midnight, I wasn't watching the ball fall in New York or raising a glass of champagne with a group of friends. No, not at all. Instead, I was tied spread eagle on Her bed dressed in woman's undergarments with my Mistress's mouth around my loose, hard penis.

The evening evolved from having our children and a few of their friends here to having the house to ourselves.This presented the perfect opportunity for me to fondly serve my Wife. I set a chair and a stool in our bathroom, plugged in a hot wax machine and gave her a pedicure and manicure while she read a book on the new e-Reader I gave her for Christmas. I'm pretty sure she enjoyed the event as well.

Just after midnight my Mistress set a few new ground rules of our relationship. First and foremost we will be focused on my respect training with new punishments. For example, until now wearing a bra has been used to 'keep me focused' but now that I prefer to wear one, as a punishment I will be denied wearing one instead. We also will be implementing a 'Naughty Spot' much like linewriter has been using although we have discussed using a step stool in our closet instead of a spot of carpet.

I have been issued additional changes for 2011. A couple of these are centered around her peace and comfort. Now that we have established a submissive attire and the ability to be locked in chastity 24/7, I will no longer be 'bothering' her for inspections or instructions. I will instead wear the CB, a clean bra, panties and camisole every day.

Late last night I also was told that I will not be having an orgasm until around Valentine's Day. I also will be routinely bound to the bed while I sleep. Of all the resolutions discussed these two are probably going to have the most impact on me. Not since puberty have I been denied orgasm relief and being tied to the bed will make the nocturnal erections a sadistic event. I suppose both of these changes are intended to reduce my interruptions and allow her to sleep through the night. If this is true, I'm betting I will soon be both bound and gagged because of the likelihood of incessant begging.