Happy vanilla male

It was certainly fun, exciting and fulfilling to live in a D/s relationship but for me it has become an emotional drain. So much so, that I am now unable to commit myself as a submissive male.

Events have confirmed to me that my wife is not willing to commit herself to a FLR. Over the past few months she has been quite vocal regarding her willingness to contribute to a lifestyle that I chose in the first place.

I have been rightfully accused of topping and promoting events that she, as a FemDom, would have initiated. Doing so minimized her power to lead and frustrated us both. Learning from my mistakes, I have waited for her to lead. My prior blog posts reflects this action. This past extended weeked was quite uneventful and other than controlling the CB myself, we were vanilla.

This morning as I prepared myself to go back to work, I stopped shaving my body and removed the toenail polish. I stored the CB-6000 in it's original case and dressed as normal as possible for a vanilla male going to work.

So the question arises... Do couples switch back and forth from D/s and vanilla? If so, what triggers the switch? At least in my case, switching back to D/s will require commitment from my wife without me applying any amount of pressure. I now understand why there are contracts and deadlines regarding these relationships. I doubt she will be willing to draw up a contract and sign it, even if we work on it together. At this point nothing would surprise me and I certainly am not in the position to promote such a change.

It's been an enlighting journey in more ways than one. Mainly I have learned that I cannot second guess what my wife will endure. She's a strong minded woman but maybe not as dominate as I had hoped.