Happy Chatting

Our house cats need companionship. When Mistress is home she is constantly followed and confronted by them. Amazingly enough, they seem to need even more attention than I do. My hope is to have Mistress return as planned tomorrow. Our home is not the same without her and I want it to return to normal. She and I have not seen each other since Sunday morning and I very much miss her.

Before Mistress left, I was quickly given a list of do's without any dont's. She confidently left me chores to perform, cats to appease and to satisfied my sexual needs, I remained unlocked and told to masturbate twice a day.

My chores are done and the cats seem quite content. However, the masturbation has not been completely successful. Even dressing in sissy outfits and sleeping in lingerie hasn't helped me get off as easily as it has in the past. I even bought a Penthouse magazine but my submissive training and control against masturbation has taken its toll on my ability to successfully jack off. It hasn't been a total failure but certainly my attempts have not resulted in success twice a day.

I am feeling quite guilty tonight. Twice I contributed to online communication as Kim, once Sunday starting soon after Mistress's departure and once again after work on Tuesday. Even though she didn't tell me to refrain from online chat, I am feeling chargeable. Doing so resulted in practicing my submissive existence but I still feel as though I took some advantage of Mistress's absence. I hope she approves.

Text messaging was performed within these Internet chat rooms. This also included video as well as audio chatting with a number of strange men of various ages and nationalities. I remained very submissive and open about my sexuality including my exclusive devotion to Mistress. All these men knew I was a submissive sissy CD controlled by my Mistress.

I wore some of my favorite outfits in full makeup, wig and accessories. My makeup was extremely heavy and I hardly could even recognized myself. I felt very attractive to these men who entered these chat rooms knowing that they would be communicating with a crossdresser. Many of them told me I was pretty or sexy and I even received a few I Love You's.

I quickly determined that dominant men have different needs and some are quite aggressive. Many offered to have me, to take me, to use me in there own not so gentle way. Others were submissive sissy crossdressers as well, evident on the video feed, and undoubtedly some considered themselves bi-sexual. Almost all of them wanted me to be bi-sexual instead of being exclusively owned by Mistress. My most common response to many requests was most certainly 'Mistress would not allow me'.

I lost count, after about a dozen, of the men that I virtually helped satisfy themselves with either their right or left hand, a few were ambidextrous. I wore very sexy undergarments, dresses, nylons and heels. These choices and my overall appearance constantly quenched desires on their side on the Internet.

They knew I was there to help them get off. I used nearly all of my assets and submissive skills to provide for their needs. Seeing me lift my dress up was by far the most requested event, followed by my facial appearance. Only a few commented on my breasts which I believe was because they assumed that they were not real. Although if I rubbed my breasts it regularly resulted in interest and a positive reaction. One guy even made a deal with me to masturbate while I showed him my feet. Thankfully my recent pedicure and toe ring made me feel sexy even to him.

Most of these men openly discussed their girlfriends or wives. A few belonged to their Mistress. Some were obviously gay and admitted to enjoying parts of the male anatomy.

Mistress's cock was rarely requested and was considered useless by most. It was tape gaffed and remained concealed and I delivered a response of 'Mistress would not allow it' whenever the request to see it arose. I did however lower my panties repeatedly when requested and remained so until they achieved their desire. My lipstick was thick and bright red. Men regularly came because of my mouth and overall facial appearance. One even soiled his own camera as my mouth remained open and close to his computer screen.

The camera was very kind to me as I constantly was considered at least 10 years younger than my actual age. Many were surprised to find that I was actually older then they were. My 'Thank You' was always included along with my real age. I acted and communicated as feminine as possible. Comments were made confirming my ability to do so. When the subject arose, I was considered passable and quite feminine. Compared to many of the other crossdressers I saw on my display, I tend to agree. However, I still consider myself only somewhat passable even though I thoroughly enjoyed their positive feedback.

If you are reading this now, it is because Mistress has returned, read this post from a draft and has allowed me to publish it. Regardless, I am writing this to divulge this information to Mistress as I cannot keep any of my thoughts or actions a secret from her. Mistress owns and will know where I have been while under her constant control.

Happy TGIF

Another week has past in my illustrious career, well, almost anyway. Tomorrow is Friday and around my office it's considered an unofficial 'dress down day'. Unbeknownst to my coworkers, I regularly 'dress up' under my casual outerwear. For years now, I have worn many different combinations of female undergarments. Panties, bras, garters, slips and nylons have been some of the attire I've secretly don. On occasion, I have even worn lingerie to work.

I regularly ask Mistress to contribute. It is even more fun and exciting for me when She decides or is aware of my attire. I have to say though that since we have engaged in our D/s lifestyle, I am wearing panties and bras regularly which makes Friday's choices more spunky than ever. I don't yet know what tomorrow will bring but I am confident that it will not be masculine or boring.

For me, this is the best part of being submissive. Wait... I take that back... Eating pussy while it squirts is first on my list, 'Dress up day' is a distant second.

Happy New Year

Well now, 2011 is here and promises to be my first full year as a submissive male in a female lead marriage.

Last night at midnight, I wasn't watching the ball fall in New York or raising a glass of champagne with a group of friends. No, not at all. Instead, I was tied spread eagle on Her bed dressed in woman's undergarments with my Mistress's mouth around my loose, hard penis.

The evening evolved from having our children and a few of their friends here to having the house to ourselves.This presented the perfect opportunity for me to fondly serve my Wife. I set a chair and a stool in our bathroom, plugged in a hot wax machine and gave her a pedicure and manicure while she read a book on the new e-Reader I gave her for Christmas. I'm pretty sure she enjoyed the event as well.

Just after midnight my Mistress set a few new ground rules of our relationship. First and foremost we will be focused on my respect training with new punishments. For example, until now wearing a bra has been used to 'keep me focused' but now that I prefer to wear one, as a punishment I will be denied wearing one instead. We also will be implementing a 'Naughty Spot' much like linewriter has been using although we have discussed using a step stool in our closet instead of a spot of carpet.

I have been issued additional changes for 2011. A couple of these are centered around her peace and comfort. Now that we have established a submissive attire and the ability to be locked in chastity 24/7, I will no longer be 'bothering' her for inspections or instructions. I will instead wear the CB, a clean bra, panties and camisole every day.

Late last night I also was told that I will not be having an orgasm until around Valentine's Day. I also will be routinely bound to the bed while I sleep. Of all the resolutions discussed these two are probably going to have the most impact on me. Not since puberty have I been denied orgasm relief and being tied to the bed will make the nocturnal erections a sadistic event. I suppose both of these changes are intended to reduce my interruptions and allow her to sleep through the night. If this is true, I'm betting I will soon be both bound and gagged because of the likelihood of incessant begging.

Happy to let Her choose

Yesterday my in-laws arrived to celebrate Christmas in our home. We look forward to this yearly gathering and have a good time enjoying the extended family. However, this year had an added twist for me as my Mistress choose to dress me in panties, bra and chastity for the day. I was able to conceal the bra visually with a bulky sweater. Regardless, when I was greeted with hugs from the female members there was certainly a risk of being discovered. I don't believe my niece noticed but my sister in law certainly had her hands directly on the bra straps behind my back. If she had noticed, she didn't make it obvious.


This evening, my Mistress again instructed me to get locked in the CB, put on tight panties and bra before She drove us to go shopping. Soon after we arrived She announced that we were there to shop in the women's department for an outfit for me consisting of either a dress or a skirt and top. After trying on over a dozen combinations together in the dressing, we ended up buying a black pencil skirt and a dark blue button up shirt. The shirt is a see-through fabric that failed to conceal my bright pink bra. We then returned home where I dressed and modeled my new attire, including pantyhose and heels. I am assuming that I may be required to wear it again sometime. For now, it waits in my closet.


My Mistress is really starting to enjoy the power She has over me and I have to admit, I'm happy to let Her have it.

It appears that this year's New Year's resolutions might be more interesting than in years past.

Happy to get you caught up

October 29th, 2010... It was a Friday, the mailman delivered it and I brought it into the house. It was a CB-6000 that She had ordered online and it had arrived. I will remember this day FOREVER.

This device's arrival is the most relationship changing event following the day of our wedding and the birth of our first child. The CB has been nothing short of erotic, sadistic and relentless ever since it was installed on my cock and balls.


I'm going to describe the CB in two lists... What it does and what is does not.

Does:

• Takes a few weeks to get used to wearing
• Gives sexual control of the wearer to the key-holder
• Elevates libido levels in the wearer and key-holder

Does not:

• Prevent erections (quite the opposite)
• Allow for masturbation
• Turn off or reduce it's impact

It's been almost two months now since the CB arrived. Since then, it has been installed all but a few days and I don't see any reason this schedule will change.

Guys, regarding a chastity device... Be careful what you ask for or are willing to accept. Your Mistress will love what it does to the both of you and likely not let you out of it.



October 31st, Halloween... Having purchased a used wedding dress at the local thrift store, the price was right and my costume fit our new lifestyle. I made my own veil and acquired white accessories that included panties, a bra, thigh-high hose, heeled slippers and even a garter. It felt wonderful to wear the dress in private and I hope to do so again someday, even if the experience extends beyond our bedroom.



November 1st... This was the first day at work while wearing the CB and I was definitely distracted from performing my employed responsibilities. More often than not I was subjected to an erection created by the unyielding pressure. The relentless texting and messaging with my Mistress throughout the day documented and heightened the experience. By mid-afternoon the day seemed it would never end and we both felt like a couple of horny 20 somethings again. My Mistress and I both felt delighted with the launch of our D/s lifestyle.



December 8th... I took the day off from work and slept in until around 9am. Upon exiting my morning shower, my Mistress presented me with a bright red pair of panties to wear. She also gave me a small card with instructions to leave the house at 11:30 to pick up a purchase at the lingerie shop in the local mall. I was to address the store clerk, give them my name and tell them my Mistress has sent me. At that point I was handed a gift bag with a small envelope attached. In the envelope was instructions to take the bag to the dressing room and put on the contents. The bag contained a bra and hose to match my red panties which I put on before returning to the store. The clerk greeted me and obviously knew of my new attire as she gazed at my chest. Next I was sent across town to pick up a bottle of champagne and a new set of instructions. I soon found myself telling the clerk at an adult toy store that my Mistress had sent me. At that point I was handed another gift bag that contained a set of handcuffs and instructions. These told me to find a book on hold at the library and to read a selected chapter. I read about a man who was blind folded, tied up and whipped before multiple men fucked his ass while he sucked on many cocks. I left the library to meet my Mistress at a restaurant where we ate a nice lunch and giggled about my recent adventure.