Happy Thoughts

Perverted... A word not normally considered to describe traits of a hetero-sexual male. But what about the hetero-sexual submissive male thoughts? Oh how do the tables turn, spin even.

Mistress has asked me to describe why I am able to accept being perverted. Besides admitting to being perverted, I have also admitted to being a slut and a whore. Thankfully, these thoughts exist within the confines of her bedroom. Regardless, Mistress has 'advised' me to post this blog entry.

Perverted, the word, defined

• adjective: (used of sexual behavior) showing or appealing to bizarre or deviant tastes
• adjective: marked by immorality; deviating from what is considered right or proper or good

I am quite sure the first definition is plausible to me. Finding a definition of bizarre and deviant might be needed. I assume that both definitions are a matter of judgement.

Slut, the word, defined

• noun: a dirty untidy woman
• noun: a woman adulterer

Damn... I totally missed on this one. I really wanted it! The femme in me, Kim needs to be a slut.

Whore, the word, defined

• noun: a woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money
• verb: corrupt by lewd intercourse
• verb: have unlawful sex with a whore

The second definition is quite likely but again, subject to the definition and judgement of lewd. The other two definitions definitely don't apply to me.

Mistress sat me down for a discussion regarding my acceptance of being perverted, a slut, a whore and many other submissive, degrading phrases that I have been called in the past year. I do find these quite degrading even though I regularly and openly admit to them under the direction and control of my Mistress. Being torn between the thoughts of disgust and desire was bothering me until Mistress said she was OK with my desires. As a result, I am feeling much more comfortable with my thoughts. Her confidence on the subject has put me at ease.

I like the word 'Kinky'

Kinky, is a synonym of perverted so now I am back to the definition and judgement issue again. Being kinky 24 hours a day sounds fun to me whereas being perverted 24 hours a day does not.

 I do have a favorite phrase for kinky... 'It is only kinky the first time'

I have always considered trying everything once and repeating the fun stuff as often as possible. Even before our FLR when I was vanilla and naive to the power of our D/s relationship. Last year, I certainly was never called a slut or a whore. Now I want and even need to be both.

My table has turned.

, Happy

Happy Halloween

I have always enjoyed Halloween. I love taking the opportunity to be someone or something else without judgement or concern. Quite simply, Halloween is a time to dress up anyway you want, no matter which gender, in any costume you like. Halloween is big on my list of favorite occasions and this year also marked our first full year in our D/s relationship.

Mistress played with me on and off throughout the weekend and into Monday night. The highlight for me was Sunday evening around 6pm when she told me I had 20 minutes to shower and feminize. Rushing to do as instructed, I returned to our bedroom closet to find clothing that Mistress had gathered and prepared for me, a schoolgirl outfit. I was excited to find a short skirt, polo shirt, bra, breast forms and knee highs waiting for me. I got dressed, brushed out my favorite wig and put on a set of hoop earrings in my now pierced ears. If it were not for the gaff holding Mistress's cock tightly between my legs, the bulge would have easily shown beneath the pleated skirt.

If the thrill of returning to Mistress dressed so femme wasn't enough, she instantly told me to get my keys. We were going for a drive. Wow, was I ever excited. Within a few minutes, I was driving us out of our neighborhood to order and take delivery at a popular drive-through hamburger joint. Mistress seemed to really enjoy watching me interact with the restaurant employees. I enjoyed myself as well, even more so knowing that she controlled the entire event.

Then last night, Halloween, was almost as entertaining as Sunday. As we do every year, Mistress and I surprised each other with costumes. She was quite appropriately, a Greek goddess. I was an angel, complete with wings and a halo. Together, we sat through a few minutes of discovery and giggling before getting rather kinky in the privacy of our bedroom.

If you have been following my blog then you should know that this time of year is also an anniversary for us. We confirmed our FLR one short year ago... and what a year it has been. So many new and wonderful things have happened to us this past year and the forecast for the upcoming year looks to be just as enjoyable.

I have learned so much about both myself and my wife this past year. I now submit to her entirely and without reservation. Mistress intimidates me because she desires do do so. I need her to do it.

I know that I am a kinder person, less controlling and more forgiving. More than ever, I consider my impact on others, especially Mistress, as I interact with them. I am certainly not perfect yet but I am willing to accept any and all training... Let's go !!