It has been a week since I returned to a vanilla lifestyle. I have to say, in many ways it is easier than FLR. Maybe not as fulfilling but certainly less effort for me. My showers are much shorter and occur only once a day. Urinating is much quicker now that I can stand while peeing. I don't spend time installing the CB twice a day. Choosing undergarments and putting them on takes only a few seconds. I have forgotten how under wires feel towards the end of each day. My cock and balls hang free, pressure and discomfort is non-existent. I sleep through early mornings without the discomfort of the repeated nacturnal hard-ons while wearing the CB device.
There has not been any sex, in any form, this past week.
My wife and I have not come to any agreement regarding our relationship. When she does talk to me about the subject, she says she wants to return to a FLR. My response is that I will not return without receiving some form of commitment. I need to know the amount of focus and attention she is willing to dedicate to such a lifestyle. I will not allow myself to return to the frustrated 'wait and see' environment that I was in before. Any attempt by me to acquire some form of commitment from her this week has failed and heated arguments have occurred as a result. Trying to make my point has been repeatedly thrown back in my face and I have succumb to silence regarding the issue.
Living a vanilla lifestyle is far less discouraging and doing away with physical contact takes less effort. Even so, if it were not for the 'on my own' feelings causing frustration that I had in our FLR, I'd be willingly submissive again tomorrow.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Happy vanilla male
It was certainly fun, exciting and fulfilling to live in a D/s relationship but for me it has become an emotional drain. So much so, that I am now unable to commit myself as a submissive male.
Events have confirmed to me that my wife is not willing to commit herself to a FLR. Over the past few months she has been quite vocal regarding her willingness to contribute to a lifestyle that I chose in the first place.
I have been rightfully accused of topping and promoting events that she, as a FemDom, would have initiated. Doing so minimized her power to lead and frustrated us both. Learning from my mistakes, I have waited for her to lead. My prior blog posts reflects this action. This past extended weeked was quite uneventful and other than controlling the CB myself, we were vanilla.
This morning as I prepared myself to go back to work, I stopped shaving my body and removed the toenail polish. I stored the CB-6000 in it's original case and dressed as normal as possible for a vanilla male going to work.
So the question arises... Do couples switch back and forth from D/s and vanilla? If so, what triggers the switch? At least in my case, switching back to D/s will require commitment from my wife without me applying any amount of pressure. I now understand why there are contracts and deadlines regarding these relationships. I doubt she will be willing to draw up a contract and sign it, even if we work on it together. At this point nothing would surprise me and I certainly am not in the position to promote such a change.
It's been an enlighting journey in more ways than one. Mainly I have learned that I cannot second guess what my wife will endure. She's a strong minded woman but maybe not as dominate as I had hoped.
Events have confirmed to me that my wife is not willing to commit herself to a FLR. Over the past few months she has been quite vocal regarding her willingness to contribute to a lifestyle that I chose in the first place.
I have been rightfully accused of topping and promoting events that she, as a FemDom, would have initiated. Doing so minimized her power to lead and frustrated us both. Learning from my mistakes, I have waited for her to lead. My prior blog posts reflects this action. This past extended weeked was quite uneventful and other than controlling the CB myself, we were vanilla.
This morning as I prepared myself to go back to work, I stopped shaving my body and removed the toenail polish. I stored the CB-6000 in it's original case and dressed as normal as possible for a vanilla male going to work.
So the question arises... Do couples switch back and forth from D/s and vanilla? If so, what triggers the switch? At least in my case, switching back to D/s will require commitment from my wife without me applying any amount of pressure. I now understand why there are contracts and deadlines regarding these relationships. I doubt she will be willing to draw up a contract and sign it, even if we work on it together. At this point nothing would surprise me and I certainly am not in the position to promote such a change.
It's been an enlighting journey in more ways than one. Mainly I have learned that I cannot second guess what my wife will endure. She's a strong minded woman but maybe not as dominate as I had hoped.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Happy to wait
Mistress seems to be in a holding pattern lately. Never the less, I have learned to wait for her next instruction as I have rightfully been accused of 'topping from the bottom' in the past few months. At this point, She may or may not have something dominating planned. Regardless, I certainly am not in the position to pull any strings or take the first shot.
Mistress and I have been living together but on very different schedules. My eight to five job requires me to sleep during the night. She however, does not work fulltime and has almost an opposite schedule, sleeping between the wee hours of the morning until about noon the next day.
Even though there hasn't been any outward signs of our D/s relationship, I have still been regularly locked in the CB device. During the celebrations last week, including Valentine's Day, I was allowed to orgasm on multiple occasions. Now, without attraction to or interaction from Mistress, my current libido level is quite managable.
Mistress and I have been living together but on very different schedules. My eight to five job requires me to sleep during the night. She however, does not work fulltime and has almost an opposite schedule, sleeping between the wee hours of the morning until about noon the next day.
Even though there hasn't been any outward signs of our D/s relationship, I have still been regularly locked in the CB device. During the celebrations last week, including Valentine's Day, I was allowed to orgasm on multiple occasions. Now, without attraction to or interaction from Mistress, my current libido level is quite managable.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Happy to smile
Better than a Flu Shot!
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea... As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl Sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated. of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?
Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know, I haven't had the flu all winter.
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea... As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl Sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated. of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?
Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know, I haven't had the flu all winter.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Happy ever after Valentine's Day
Last night was quite fulfilling for me and I am confident that Mistress also enjoyed our first D/s Valentine's Day. We endlessly pleased and pleasured each other until the wee hours of the morning. Waking up this morning was difficult but the encounter was worth every minute of lost sleep.
Satisified and exhausted we fell asleep.
Our encounter started with my gift to Her. I gave her a new outfit of a corseted top, thigh-high nylons and elbow length gloves. All in bright red to match the occasion.
Following Her shower She applied Her makeup that included red hot lipstick. She put on the new top and a delectable pair of black lace panties.
I wonder... Why is it a pair? Why is it panties? It's only one item, right?
I had placed a kitchen chair and my punishment stool in our bathroom. I filled her glass of red wine as She made Herself comfortable upon Her 'throne'. Sitting on the stool in a bright red knee length nightgown, I proceeded to give Her a much needed pedicure painting her toes red to match my own. After applying two coats of nail polish, I retrieved Her hand lotion to give her a foot to knee massage. The worship continued as I installed Her new nylons, gloves and black leather boots. She looked delicious and my erection showed my admiration.
We returned to our bedrooom prepared as our playground.
I am happy to report that the new bondage horse held up quite well during last night's intense ride. After mounting me naked, Mistress slapped my ass with Her new heart shaped Valentine's paddle as Her gift to me. With my ass warmed and willing, She rode me like a yearling stallion fucking a mare in heat wearing Her strap-on harness and dildo.
While I remained limp and victimized bound to the horse, Mistress obtained our digital camera to 'document Her success'. If you are interested in the picture, visit Her blog.
I was released from my restraints and lead to the shower on my hands and knees where She stood above and urinated on me. This dominate act instantlly affected me while I waited for Her to clean up before leaving me to do the same. Pissing on me is a new treatment for Her to administer and we both are enjoying the outcome.
I returned to our bedroom to find Her relaxing in wait upon the bed. She lay on Her back with knees elevated while I pleasured Her with my face and hands on Her cunt. My erection soon swelled and I was allowed to insert it into Her pussy. It only took a few moments before She came and sprayed my cock and balls. Permission was granted for me to orgasm and I came deep inside of Her.
Yet again, I neglected to fulfill my promise to clean Her creampie and She was left to deal with the mess herself. I am disappointed with my irresponsible behavior. I had hoped to routinely perform this obligation but it appears that I still need training and timely encouragement.
Satisified and exhausted we fell asleep.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day
Happy Valentine's Day
To all you Femdoms...
Today more than ever, I hope you dominate your submissive sissy slut. Get pampered, treated with a pedicure, massaged and be licked. Master your domain, top the bottom, piss on him, bite his nipples, tie up your slave and fuck his 'pussy' asshole. Most important of all, I wish for you to cum over and over again because this is what you deserve.
To all you Submissives...
Today, I hope your training pays off and you willfully please your Mistress. Pamper Her with a massage. Worship Her feet, breasts, ass and most of all, Her cunt. Drink Her urine and lick Her clean. I want your nipples to bleed, your asshole to throb and balls to turn blue. I want Her to cum and squirt on your face. I hope you get these things because this is what you deserve.
To all you Femdoms...
Today more than ever, I hope you dominate your submissive sissy slut. Get pampered, treated with a pedicure, massaged and be licked. Master your domain, top the bottom, piss on him, bite his nipples, tie up your slave and fuck his 'pussy' asshole. Most important of all, I wish for you to cum over and over again because this is what you deserve.
To all you Submissives...
Today, I hope your training pays off and you willfully please your Mistress. Pamper Her with a massage. Worship Her feet, breasts, ass and most of all, Her cunt. Drink Her urine and lick Her clean. I want your nipples to bleed, your asshole to throb and balls to turn blue. I want Her to cum and squirt on your face. I hope you get these things because this is what you deserve.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Happy to ride
Last week Mistress sent me a message containing a link to a device for sale on eBay. It was called a 'bondage horse'. She wanted one and suggested that I make Her one as a present for Valentines Day. Now let me make myself candidly clear, I would have made it for Her regardless of reason. This device directly targets the needs of a submissive and provides complete control to the Dominant.
Ours stands just over two feet high and over three feet long. The padding on top is thick , comfortable and cleanable. The hold-downs are very strong and abundant. Its structure is 2x4s and attachments rated at 300lbs. Areas of contact are covered with Naugahyde vinyl and collaspes within a few seconds. The legs are paired and connected with the use of saw-horse hinges.
Ours stands just over two feet high and over three feet long. The padding on top is thick , comfortable and cleanable. The hold-downs are very strong and abundant. Its structure is 2x4s and attachments rated at 300lbs. Areas of contact are covered with Naugahyde vinyl and collaspes within a few seconds. The legs are paired and connected with the use of saw-horse hinges.
Don't you think it came together well? Do you want one? It can be made in any combination of length and height. A variety of colors are also available. Are you needy enough to acquire one of you own? Are you a handyman? If not, let's talk.
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