Happy Chatting

Our house cats need companionship. When Mistress is home she is constantly followed and confronted by them. Amazingly enough, they seem to need even more attention than I do. My hope is to have Mistress return as planned tomorrow. Our home is not the same without her and I want it to return to normal. She and I have not seen each other since Sunday morning and I very much miss her.

Before Mistress left, I was quickly given a list of do's without any dont's. She confidently left me chores to perform, cats to appease and to satisfied my sexual needs, I remained unlocked and told to masturbate twice a day.

My chores are done and the cats seem quite content. However, the masturbation has not been completely successful. Even dressing in sissy outfits and sleeping in lingerie hasn't helped me get off as easily as it has in the past. I even bought a Penthouse magazine but my submissive training and control against masturbation has taken its toll on my ability to successfully jack off. It hasn't been a total failure but certainly my attempts have not resulted in success twice a day.

I am feeling quite guilty tonight. Twice I contributed to online communication as Kim, once Sunday starting soon after Mistress's departure and once again after work on Tuesday. Even though she didn't tell me to refrain from online chat, I am feeling chargeable. Doing so resulted in practicing my submissive existence but I still feel as though I took some advantage of Mistress's absence. I hope she approves.

Text messaging was performed within these Internet chat rooms. This also included video as well as audio chatting with a number of strange men of various ages and nationalities. I remained very submissive and open about my sexuality including my exclusive devotion to Mistress. All these men knew I was a submissive sissy CD controlled by my Mistress.

I wore some of my favorite outfits in full makeup, wig and accessories. My makeup was extremely heavy and I hardly could even recognized myself. I felt very attractive to these men who entered these chat rooms knowing that they would be communicating with a crossdresser. Many of them told me I was pretty or sexy and I even received a few I Love You's.

I quickly determined that dominant men have different needs and some are quite aggressive. Many offered to have me, to take me, to use me in there own not so gentle way. Others were submissive sissy crossdressers as well, evident on the video feed, and undoubtedly some considered themselves bi-sexual. Almost all of them wanted me to be bi-sexual instead of being exclusively owned by Mistress. My most common response to many requests was most certainly 'Mistress would not allow me'.

I lost count, after about a dozen, of the men that I virtually helped satisfy themselves with either their right or left hand, a few were ambidextrous. I wore very sexy undergarments, dresses, nylons and heels. These choices and my overall appearance constantly quenched desires on their side on the Internet.

They knew I was there to help them get off. I used nearly all of my assets and submissive skills to provide for their needs. Seeing me lift my dress up was by far the most requested event, followed by my facial appearance. Only a few commented on my breasts which I believe was because they assumed that they were not real. Although if I rubbed my breasts it regularly resulted in interest and a positive reaction. One guy even made a deal with me to masturbate while I showed him my feet. Thankfully my recent pedicure and toe ring made me feel sexy even to him.

Most of these men openly discussed their girlfriends or wives. A few belonged to their Mistress. Some were obviously gay and admitted to enjoying parts of the male anatomy.

Mistress's cock was rarely requested and was considered useless by most. It was tape gaffed and remained concealed and I delivered a response of 'Mistress would not allow it' whenever the request to see it arose. I did however lower my panties repeatedly when requested and remained so until they achieved their desire. My lipstick was thick and bright red. Men regularly came because of my mouth and overall facial appearance. One even soiled his own camera as my mouth remained open and close to his computer screen.

The camera was very kind to me as I constantly was considered at least 10 years younger than my actual age. Many were surprised to find that I was actually older then they were. My 'Thank You' was always included along with my real age. I acted and communicated as feminine as possible. Comments were made confirming my ability to do so. When the subject arose, I was considered passable and quite feminine. Compared to many of the other crossdressers I saw on my display, I tend to agree. However, I still consider myself only somewhat passable even though I thoroughly enjoyed their positive feedback.

If you are reading this now, it is because Mistress has returned, read this post from a draft and has allowed me to publish it. Regardless, I am writing this to divulge this information to Mistress as I cannot keep any of my thoughts or actions a secret from her. Mistress owns and will know where I have been while under her constant control.