Happy to reply in my defense

My latest post may be and has actually been considered a 'one-sided' perspective from a submissive who was told to post his feelings regarding a FLR contract. As instructed, I wrote about my feelings such as they are.

Soon after posting my feelings and thoughts regarding our new contract, a follower named Tamara posted her comment. At first read of Tamara's comment I got rather defensive and thankfully didn't immediately defend my position. You might say my submissive side took control and I referred to my Mistress for guidance. My Mistress chose to post a rebuttal that clarified my one-sided statements.

Reading Tamara's bio will tell you that she is a 'vanilla wife' to a 'submissive husband'. After thinking about her situation and her apprehension to work on a FLR, per posted comment, I wonder whether she is missing the point or rewards of being a Mistress. If so, she is not alone as her view of a FLR being 'work' for the female is well documented in articles and blogs throughout the Internet.


In the case of a husband and wife, both must benefit from the effort of maintaining the relationship. Since I have been married for 20 plus years, I know from experience that even a vanilla relationship takes effort.


Why do this? How do I benefit? How does she benefit? What effort takes place? Tough questions to answer and not unlike a vanilla relationship, the benefit of a FLR must outweigh the effort. Another similarity is that you will likely benefit only by the amount of effort you put into your relationship.


But I digress... Back to the point. What is in it for my Mistress?


My Mistress does benefit from our FLR. First and foremost she gains by receiving additional respect and dedication from me, her submissive partner. As a submissive I no longer have the ability to flex my male ego and thus continuously and consistently devote myself to her.  Even if I do stray from a preferred behaviour, it is entirely her right to ignore or correct me.


Why dominate me?


At first my Mistress couldn't understand why she should desire to dominate me. From my point of view, in many ways, she has been making most of the decisions anyway. For example, very little if any of the details of our wedding were decided by me. Mother Nature not I could change her timing for raising a family. I am a foremost a provider and to a lesser extent, a resolver. Now with the FLR, I can reverently relinquishment my authority that most often caused friction in our vanilla relationship. Without this potential to clash with my spouse, I am much more free to express myself.


BDSM is in the bedroom. FLR is everywhere


Male sexual relief impairs his ability to continuously commit to his partner. I know from experience that after an orgasm a man loses willpower. Since I am not a doctor or a chemist, I cannot explain the reason for the degrade in dedication. Regardless, it happens and I can't seem to avoid it when it does. Unlike BDSM, the dynamics of the FLR restrict the sexual release of the submissive without having to avoid physical contact. In fact, a most enlightening dynamic of the FLR is that physical contact is expected to increase. Without male orgasm release, the willingness of the submissive to pleasure his Mistress becomes consistent. With regular tease and denial techniques administered to the submissive male, his sexual, physical and emotion energy grows to benefit the Mistress. So much so, that her enjoyment and sexual needs are his primary goal as he becomes complacent and resistant to his own release.


Women can lead


From a very young age, we are taught that males lead females. The most obvious event of the learning process happens when we dance and date. Boys ask girls out on dates or offer to dance. How many marriage engagements are started by the woman? I certainly haven't heard of any.

Growing up as a compliant male does occur eventually and until his life gets beyond the need for masculine stereotypes, his behavior is more manufactured than it is natural. If the submissive male is able to find a woman who is willing and able to pursue the dominate role, he will have found a match for life and a FLR is born.


Defense rests... For now

Happy to be back and under contract

I am under contract. Mistress and I both signed a D/s contract that outlines our FLR. Signing the contract requires us to submit entirely to my wife, now Mistress, dominating me, her submissive, for a period of one month.

Mistress owns the contract as well as me. Upon my agreement, I gave myself entirely to her and now she controls me, uses me and trains me. I am now her slave, her toy, her patsy, her fool. My body is hers to maintain, shave, cleanse and dress. My goal is to fulfill her desires and satisfy her needs.

Mistress also committed to our FLR when she signed the contract. She is now dedicated to taking care of me, her submissive male. Her promise is to control, train, direct and care for her slave, to do so purely for her own emotional and physical benefit. She expects to use harsh punishment, degrading humiliation and selfish tactics to gain dominance and respect.

Our contract has been effective for just over a week now. I have grown more each day, increasing my devotion to my Mistress as she explores new ways to control and train me. Her dominance starts early each morning with her use of urination and feminizing before sending me off to work. Going to work allows my body to recover from the physical abuse that is forced upon me on most nights. I am whipped, bound, gagged, pinched and penetrated. No part of my body is off limits as Mistress own it entirely.

I am cared for, have purpose and have an elevated desire to please. I am fairly certain my Mistress is enjoying my magnified willingness to surrender as she is increasingly exploring new ways to dominate and control me. I really am happy now and expect to be throughout the month.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

I hope you enjoy your day as much as Mistress and I have done. Here's a image of the celebration outfit that Mistress put on me. She strapped me to the front door and dressed me. It is hard to tell in this picture but my tie was lighted with flashing bulbs.

In case you have been following my blog... Yes, our D/s week has been extended for an additional week after the mutual decision was made late last week. As of now, we are scheduled to return to a vanilla relationship on Sunday.

Happy week in review

Here's a list of the D/s events that happened to me this week:

• Strap-on sex
• Horsewhipped
• Golden showers
• Gagged
• 24/7 Chastity
• Cunt worship
• Pet caged
• Tampon wear
• Blindfolded
• Spanked
• Foot worship
• Handcuffed
• Paddled
• Sucked dildo
• Butt plugged
• Feminized
• Ate, doggy style
• Gave massage
• Swallowed cum
• Gave pedicure
• Asshole worship
• Nipple torture
• Ass fisted
• Electro-sex
• Ate creampie

I thoroughly enjoyed Her attention and dedication to dominating me this week. Comparably, my occasional pleasing and pleasuring of Mistress was overshadowed by Her desire to regularly abuse me.

What a week !!!

Happy bride

My wife, the groom, and I have renewed our FLR vows. We both agreed to a prenuptial that consists of a one week a month D/s schedule. Today is day 4 of our return to FLR week for this month.

Even though I wasn't actually a virgin, I wore white.

We consummated our marriage with Her, again my Mistress, giving me a thorough thrashing with Her horsewhip. There is somewhat of a dispute regarding how many of my bruises were caused by Her release on my backside. Her position on the matter is that some of them were caused by the yard work that I performed last weekend. Regardless, She certainly left Her mark on me.

For the most part, our return to FLR has gone quite favorably for the both of us. I have been focused on letting Her control our D/s events and She has been much more aggressive at doing so.

We seem to be going through a reversal of wills whereas I have resolved myself to the understanding that we will return to vanilla after week's end. She on the other hand has taken a stance that we will not be returning to vanilla sex and refrain from doing so until we again return to a FLR.

I have more blogging to do once I get my thoughts organized enough to do so. But for now, as you can see, we are back and I must say, better than ever!

Thanks for the heartfelt thoughts and concerns on both of our blogs. The support is greatly appreciated !!!

Happy or not, here I am

It has been a week since I returned to a vanilla lifestyle. I have to say, in many ways it is easier than FLR. Maybe not as fulfilling but certainly less effort for me. My showers are much shorter and occur only once a day. Urinating is much quicker now that I can stand while peeing. I don't spend time installing the CB twice a day. Choosing undergarments and putting them on takes only a few seconds. I have forgotten how under wires feel towards the end of each day. My cock and balls hang free, pressure and discomfort is non-existent. I sleep through early mornings without the discomfort of the repeated nacturnal hard-ons while wearing the CB device.

There has not been any sex, in any form, this past week.

My wife and I have not come to any agreement regarding our relationship. When she does talk to me about the subject, she says she wants to return to a FLR. My response is that I will not return without receiving some form of commitment. I need to know the amount of focus and attention she is willing to dedicate to such a lifestyle. I will not allow myself to return to the frustrated 'wait and see' environment that I was in before. Any attempt by me to acquire some form of commitment from her this week has failed and heated arguments have occurred as a result. Trying to make my point has been repeatedly thrown back in my face and I have succumb to silence regarding the issue.

Living a vanilla lifestyle is far less discouraging and doing away with physical contact takes less effort. Even so, if it were not for the 'on my own' feelings causing frustration that I had in our FLR, I'd be willingly submissive again tomorrow.

Happy vanilla male

It was certainly fun, exciting and fulfilling to live in a D/s relationship but for me it has become an emotional drain. So much so, that I am now unable to commit myself as a submissive male.

Events have confirmed to me that my wife is not willing to commit herself to a FLR. Over the past few months she has been quite vocal regarding her willingness to contribute to a lifestyle that I chose in the first place.

I have been rightfully accused of topping and promoting events that she, as a FemDom, would have initiated. Doing so minimized her power to lead and frustrated us both. Learning from my mistakes, I have waited for her to lead. My prior blog posts reflects this action. This past extended weeked was quite uneventful and other than controlling the CB myself, we were vanilla.

This morning as I prepared myself to go back to work, I stopped shaving my body and removed the toenail polish. I stored the CB-6000 in it's original case and dressed as normal as possible for a vanilla male going to work.

So the question arises... Do couples switch back and forth from D/s and vanilla? If so, what triggers the switch? At least in my case, switching back to D/s will require commitment from my wife without me applying any amount of pressure. I now understand why there are contracts and deadlines regarding these relationships. I doubt she will be willing to draw up a contract and sign it, even if we work on it together. At this point nothing would surprise me and I certainly am not in the position to promote such a change.

It's been an enlighting journey in more ways than one. Mainly I have learned that I cannot second guess what my wife will endure. She's a strong minded woman but maybe not as dominate as I had hoped.