Happy and Pink

It's been over a month since Mistress has started each day spanking me. She enjoys sending me off to work with a submissive mindset. Sometimes Mistress uses her bare hand, sometimes a paddle. Last month she used a wooden ladle from the kitchen but I haven't seen it since then. Most often, I am placed over her lap, otherwise I submit on my hands and knees with my nose to the floor.

This image posted here is the result of yesterday's session. With pantyhose pulled down around my thighs, she reddened my backside. Afterwards she inserted a tampon in me and told me to get dressed and go to work. I pulled the pantyhose back up, dressed, kissed her goodbye and left for my office.

Do you have a morning ritual event? Any rituals at all? Something you regularly look forward to?

Happy with Dinner Out

Mistress has been suggesting that she take Kim out for dinner sometime. Kim is my sissy name. Kim is my submissive slutty, dirty whore name. It's fun to be Kim.We both seem to enjoy ourselves when Mistress has her encounters with my feminine side.

She has taken Kim out in public before. Kim has pumped gas at the local Costco, twice a fast food drive through, as well as shopping in an adult toy store, at the mall and thrift store. But out to dinner is certainly closer to the public then ever before.

I wouldn't call myself passable as a cross-dresser but at a quick glance, I think I am considered female when I am Kim.

Thursday night it happened. I returned home later than normal as I had been out of town that day. She greeted me quite aggressively, told me to remove my clothes and proceeded to whip me into a sissy submissive within her control. After she used me with her strap-on, she sent me to the shower and told me that Kim should return instead of me.

I put on Kim's makeup then tucked and taped the cock between my legs. Got dressed in a new pair of black jeans and the black boots that Mistress gave me for Christmas. Put on a red blouse, white sweater, hoop earrings and a favorite wig. As requested, Kim returned to Mistress.

Mistress and Kim went out to dinner. I think we both enjoyed our time out together, I know I certainly did. We sat in a booth, ordered drinks and dinner. Mistress did the talking to the restaurant employees, especially since she had sent me to the Ladies room just before the waiter took our order.

We chatted, I whispered and the other customers didn't even seem to care about or notice me. By the end of the meal, I was over the fear of being 'caught'. Mistress pointed out that questioning my femininity would be as dangerous to someone as asking whether a woman is pregnant.

After dinner, we returned home and Mistress told me to get into something more comfortable. The late night that followed is a story within itself. I'd be happy to tell you more if you are interested.

Happy 'Belated' New Year

Well, at least it's still January as I post this message to wish everyone a Happy New Year.

Mistress and I entered the year in full stride. The holidays have come and past along with the family encounters and events. Through multiple visits our D/s relationship continued to swell secretly hidden behind our vanilla presentation.

Tonight, Mistress is 'out with the girls' and left me with a list of tasks to perform until she returns. One of which is to post to my blog to include my self-portrait to show how I was sent off to work today.

As you can see, I was back into the CB today. I battled most of the day recovering my 'belongings' as they slipped and drifted out of minimal containment of the rather useless g-string panties.


I really have grown to dislike the CB. I find it rather uncomfortable, a burden to manage and conceal. Mistress, on the other hand, seems to enjoy this arrangement and likes how it appears and functions. It has been over a year since Mistress acquired this device and she repeatedly uses it to enforce her ownership of me. I need her to own me and therefore I wear it proudly and willingly, even though I sometimes whine about having to do so.

I have a lot to do around the house this evening to prepare for Mistress's return and therefore I must get busy performing my tasks. Besides posting this blog entry, I must clean up the front room, arrange the Christmas boxes, collate and staple paperwork before preparing myself for her arrival. When she enters the bedroom, I am to be tied to the beams across the ceiling with a dildo deep in my ass. All the while cross-dressed in full makeup, breasts forms and wig wearing my full length wedding gown and appropriate heels.

Like I said, I have a lot to do so I'd better get to it.

Happy Thoughts

Perverted... A word not normally considered to describe traits of a hetero-sexual male. But what about the hetero-sexual submissive male thoughts? Oh how do the tables turn, spin even.

Mistress has asked me to describe why I am able to accept being perverted. Besides admitting to being perverted, I have also admitted to being a slut and a whore. Thankfully, these thoughts exist within the confines of her bedroom. Regardless, Mistress has 'advised' me to post this blog entry.

Perverted, the word, defined

• adjective: (used of sexual behavior) showing or appealing to bizarre or deviant tastes
• adjective: marked by immorality; deviating from what is considered right or proper or good

I am quite sure the first definition is plausible to me. Finding a definition of bizarre and deviant might be needed. I assume that both definitions are a matter of judgement.

Slut, the word, defined

• noun: a dirty untidy woman
• noun: a woman adulterer

Damn... I totally missed on this one. I really wanted it! The femme in me, Kim needs to be a slut.

Whore, the word, defined

• noun: a woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money
• verb: corrupt by lewd intercourse
• verb: have unlawful sex with a whore

The second definition is quite likely but again, subject to the definition and judgement of lewd. The other two definitions definitely don't apply to me.

Mistress sat me down for a discussion regarding my acceptance of being perverted, a slut, a whore and many other submissive, degrading phrases that I have been called in the past year. I do find these quite degrading even though I regularly and openly admit to them under the direction and control of my Mistress. Being torn between the thoughts of disgust and desire was bothering me until Mistress said she was OK with my desires. As a result, I am feeling much more comfortable with my thoughts. Her confidence on the subject has put me at ease.

I like the word 'Kinky'

Kinky, is a synonym of perverted so now I am back to the definition and judgement issue again. Being kinky 24 hours a day sounds fun to me whereas being perverted 24 hours a day does not.

 I do have a favorite phrase for kinky... 'It is only kinky the first time'

I have always considered trying everything once and repeating the fun stuff as often as possible. Even before our FLR when I was vanilla and naive to the power of our D/s relationship. Last year, I certainly was never called a slut or a whore. Now I want and even need to be both.

My table has turned.

, Happy

Happy Halloween

I have always enjoyed Halloween. I love taking the opportunity to be someone or something else without judgement or concern. Quite simply, Halloween is a time to dress up anyway you want, no matter which gender, in any costume you like. Halloween is big on my list of favorite occasions and this year also marked our first full year in our D/s relationship.

Mistress played with me on and off throughout the weekend and into Monday night. The highlight for me was Sunday evening around 6pm when she told me I had 20 minutes to shower and feminize. Rushing to do as instructed, I returned to our bedroom closet to find clothing that Mistress had gathered and prepared for me, a schoolgirl outfit. I was excited to find a short skirt, polo shirt, bra, breast forms and knee highs waiting for me. I got dressed, brushed out my favorite wig and put on a set of hoop earrings in my now pierced ears. If it were not for the gaff holding Mistress's cock tightly between my legs, the bulge would have easily shown beneath the pleated skirt.

If the thrill of returning to Mistress dressed so femme wasn't enough, she instantly told me to get my keys. We were going for a drive. Wow, was I ever excited. Within a few minutes, I was driving us out of our neighborhood to order and take delivery at a popular drive-through hamburger joint. Mistress seemed to really enjoy watching me interact with the restaurant employees. I enjoyed myself as well, even more so knowing that she controlled the entire event.

Then last night, Halloween, was almost as entertaining as Sunday. As we do every year, Mistress and I surprised each other with costumes. She was quite appropriately, a Greek goddess. I was an angel, complete with wings and a halo. Together, we sat through a few minutes of discovery and giggling before getting rather kinky in the privacy of our bedroom.

If you have been following my blog then you should know that this time of year is also an anniversary for us. We confirmed our FLR one short year ago... and what a year it has been. So many new and wonderful things have happened to us this past year and the forecast for the upcoming year looks to be just as enjoyable.

I have learned so much about both myself and my wife this past year. I now submit to her entirely and without reservation. Mistress intimidates me because she desires do do so. I need her to do it.

I know that I am a kinder person, less controlling and more forgiving. More than ever, I consider my impact on others, especially Mistress, as I interact with them. I am certainly not perfect yet but I am willing to accept any and all training... Let's go !!

Happy and Owned

Mistress owns me and last night she demonstrated her power over me until I was completely exhausted. She dressed me in a devious outfit, including heels and stockings before she tied me to the beams in her bedroom. While on my knees with wrists bound tightly above, Mistress used various toys and tactics to suit herself. She spanked, whipped and shocked almost my entire body after covering my head with a rubber hood.

Mistress knows how to break me down. She has learned to use and abuse me without guilt. It has been almost a year now that our FLR became 'official'. For those of you following my blog, you know that our FLR has been a matter of discovery and growth. Lately, Mistress has been enjoying the devious side of being in control knowing that her submissive has asked to be owned.

She abused me well then untied me from above to lay me on my back. After making me admit to wanting to be humiliated, she demanded I open my mouth while she straddled my head to pee. The urine landed mostly on the rubber hood over my face but some of it certainly splashed into my mouth. Even though I couldn't see at the time, her appearance stood tall and proud over me, her toilet, as she relieved herself.

Happy Feminine Side

I can't say that I was surprised to find my shampoo and deodorant replaced with femme products this morning. Mistress had alluded to replacing my deodorant just last weekend. Piece by piece, bit by bit, I am looking and now smelling more and more feminine.

Last week, we had an interesting and exciting talk about my feminine tendencies. Where I am quite comfortable with being male, my submissive tendencies are slanting me towards losing male habits and converting to a kinder, gentler person. The external changes, pierced ears, painted toenails, shaved body and now smell have gone far to whittle down my male ego. Lately I have caught myself from saying negative comments and certainly have learned to notice reaction to letting one slip out. As my male ego depletes, Mistress's power and control over me is gaining momentum as well

My female name is 'Kim'. Mistress and I often refer to Kim in the third person. Kim is a slut for makeup, for wigs, for shoes, for clothes and most of all... for sex. Kim is a whore and loves to be abused by Mistress.

So far I am not quite comfortable with calling myself a 'crossdresser' but if a spade is a spade, then I must be a crossdresser. I love to wear brighter, softer and tighter apparel. Mistress and I have been discussing my desires and she seems interested on expanding my femme side to the public. Recently, Mistress mentioned taking a week vacation with Kim, The feelings of joy, excitement and fear combine when I think of the possibilities of being Kim, even if just for a week. Most of all, I relish the enthusiastic tact that Mistress has taking regarding my 'fetish'.

, Submissive Male, aka Kim